Enjoy the Good Times…

If I remember correctly, It was on 20th february. Our seniors had called us to make something for the Annual procession we had in our College as the starting gig of our Art’s Fest Stage events. So, Vilbin Varghese, Nebin Jose and me, we decided to go a lil further and pull this off.

All we did was take out the Strong Beer bottle, stare at it for half an hour, brainstorm. Then it was just cardboard, size 20 staplers, Glue, Mason’s tape, Thin Wire, Black Chartpaper, Glazing paper, Scissors, and 6-7 hours of Hard work. But we enjoyed every moment of it. You just dont call it Good Times like that, it is because it is so. Maybe thats why we 19 year olds just did it. Here’s the end product:

and so i took a sip from my creation.

These were taken at the procession. The bottle was modeled so as to fit me. I walked the walk. (Sorry, but didnt take the solo pics of the bottle in all that excitement)

the whole world never mattered anyway...

King of Good times it was.

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**

Cheers. Ciao.

-@hollowmaniac

Now.

************************** Here **************************

Five minutes into it and he was lost. She looked at him. The moment their eyes met, she turned away. She was a gutsy girl, but whenever she found him staring at her, something inflated her off all that. And that very moment, she felt she was nothing but a small baby girl longing for her father’s warmth. But she longed for his. Her every movement started to feel guilt-prone, something was pulling her to it; nevertheless, something was pulling her to him. It’s then that she felt happy, and sad, all at the same time. It was defying all her logic, and denting her intelligence, but something was pulling her towards it.

He thought to he was impermeable, he thought nothing would ever affect him, he thought he was free from all the urges of life. Until that day. He sat there, staring. Her beauty, was affecting him, even to a point that it was hurting him. He never knew what went through her mind. They were so different, so very opposite, but he felt that connection. It was like achieving a whole, man’s search to completion. And they so very well complemented each other.

************************** Elsewhere **************************

She held his arms so tight that he even doubted she’d break it into two. “I can’t control myself, I want a hug.” He looked at her in awe. He loved being dominated. But, the look in her eyes… he hugged her, and then just like that kissed her on the lips. She jumped up from her seat. That very second, he was expected something bad, but it didn’t happen. She looked down to him, and bit her lips. Then a smile. His life force retuned to him. And then just like that she kissed him back. This time, it was tight, long one, and on the cheeks. He didn’t mind. He loved every moment of it.

“I love you”, he said. Just then he noticed…she was in tears. She hugged him tight n said, “Oh, I didn’t want this to happen, I wanted to fight you, not love you more, now I’ll miss you even more. It pains. I hate you. I hate you.” He looked at her and smiled. Her eyes said everything. She loved him more than anything in this world. They were in love, and nothing else.

***

“We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.” – Calvin

radicalshit.

At times you think you know a lot of things. But then those are times… just times… at the end of it, you blandly realize the fact that You are more wrong than How wrong you expected yourself to be. Human relationships are like human beings. They are never certain, Hollow at times, and at times, totally reason-void. Now with my rep-sheet, you might be wondering if this is one of those posts, but no, This is a totally different one. I assure you that part at the least. But then to come to think of it from the surface itself, you can see crystal clear to where I’m going. Okay, lets cut the intro part on this one to only this much.

In my 19 years of life, I’ve met a lot of people. But then to come to think of it, only few remain as constants, both in the case of friendship and in the case of acquaintances. o which point I’ve realized that, there are some people who we meet, and when we come in contact with them, we somehow know where we are with them. It’s not like a normal relationship building thing, where the first impression, or the lasting impression decides everything. To those people, There is no need of the “impressing them” part. All they are interested is in your true self, and vice avers.

It’ll be so damn clear about where they stand in our lives. There’ll be no confusion, there’ll be no “That’s Complicated” terminology and there will be No answer for the question… “What is your relation with him/her?” Of-course, we come up with satisfactory answers for ourselves n unsatisfactory ones for the general people, who seem so hollow in their WYSIWYG attitude. But then at the end of the day, Impressing the crowd doesn’t matter, until unless you are some celebrity with a decent fan following.

Here is where I confess. I’m smart enough to know what people think of me, and even smarter enough to know how to ignore them. But then, the only thing that pains me is the fact that the people I ignore think I’m totally clueless about the shit they are throwing at me. Yeah, I know the whole idea of my ignorance is ironic, but then That lil fact, I just cant ignore.

Now to the practical part. To be honest, I’m just 19 and I don’t want to think about my future love-life. Of-course, I’m a lil concerned about my education n all, but then I don’t mix n drive… Its only when someone asks you in the face about the former, will you realize you are at a total baseless point. That time, I choose to ignore reality altogether and warp to my dreamworld. And that’s how I’m still together, in one piece.

From a point where there is no reason, why do we always have to drag ourselves to a place where you have to justify your past, present n future? And even worse, is it even worth it? Why can’t we just dream on, follow our own instincts, n get there when we get there. I’m siting an example: Why are we so worried about the prospective relative conflicts that may occur from some marriage that may happen some 6 years later(definitely not hoping for it), when we are totally in love with each other? Is it even a reason to move on, by stopping what is going on strong, and without any particular reason, just because there’ll be some shit happening if whatever happens the way we are postulated? “If” “What If”.. Are these words totally deciding where we are going? And the worst part is, due to all this shit, we try to make up reasons for which there are no reasons. “I don’t know. I love you so very much. But then at the end of it, We both know it wont work out. And at that point, we would have grown real close to each other like inseparable souls. And if we try to separate us then due to this reason, we may both be ending up in disaster n pain… So lets move on… But then I miss you.” Maybe its my shit attitude towards practicality and “If” at times, but can anyone explain to me why I should do whatever that’s supposed to be done, rather than do what I want? Can’t I ever do what my heart feels like? Why should I let my fcking brain override the shit outta it? Maybe we’ll hurt ourselves if at all it comes. But then Why can’t we love each other till it chances, if at all it comes to that point in the first place?

Ohkay… this is one way of seeing it. But it’s not always this relationship that’s in question. Various others too. Why should practicality ever ruin what is good now? And Why are we letting it ruin it and our happiness? When did all of us become so self-centered, to only think of ourselves in the future? Why can’t we make our dreams, both emotional and the rest as our goals, and try to achieve them, for which we have to be successful in the first place.

What I’m trying to say is… Why can’t we extend our dreams beyond the materialistic bit, ’cause suppose we reach all that we dream of like that and achieve all of that, wouldn’t there be something still missing? Why cant we prioritize those things, so that we’ll jump the hurdles n reach there, rather than making the second last hurdle the finish line? This was one message “Love Aaj Kal” gave, beyond the surface plot n message. And almost every soul missed it. Hope you got what I wanted to tell you from this panoply of rabidness.

Maybe it wont happen, maybe it can’t happen… Maybe you know that.

But then its still a “Maybe”…

angeleyes.

I was born a pessimist. It was quite natural… even though I was the elder one, I had realized long time back, that I would grow at a real slower pace than my younger blood, and soon he would be all over me one day. Seems like that time has finally arrived. We guys always had our fights n all, but then there was this level of difference between us, which were the reason for most of those really crude action packed fight-sequences…but as he bridged the gap between us, sometime along the line, he became an equal, and now a maybe more mature guy, we started getting along real well. But then, that’s what I always wanted. I was never an elder-bro material. Look at me!! I’m still a kid, acting more on instinct than intelligence.

All these above not-so-relevant-to-any-of-you lines are to stress my first point: And I know that the pessimist always stays in me. I always expected the worse, but instead of daring to face it, I ran away. And look where I reached now. Apparently nowhere.

I was so confused with my life, so disgusted with all that happened to me, and cursing each n everyone on the way, it had even come to that point where I doubted the absolute point of my existence. But then I met a more larger than life pessimist!

Her pessimism made mine seem like that of a salt molecule in the Indian ocean. But that’s precisely how she made me think differently. Apparently her pessimism forced me to view everything with a hope in it. It was not like the girl-trying-to-change-the-guy thing. She always respected my individuality, and I loved hers. But I somehow changed myself for her in an unconscious manner. I even got back to listening Hinder after a real long time! And I’m somehow enjoying the music as well!

♫♫ See!!! ♪♪

I was totally at the endpoint when I met her. She dragged me back up to my game, but I’m still that trashed low-life I was. So if she suddenly disappears one day… I just wont be able to bear it! Of-course she does give me hard times with her fail-proof pessimism when she totally narrates prospective  incidents that end in her death! And there were times when I even have my heart in my mouth!! Yeah, that was her alright! My bestEST friend till now and forever!

But even then at times my pessimism took over. It scared me for like the first time in my life! But then somehow she always used her charisma over me, and I would become this real toddler in front of her, and she like a sweet lady, would pour all that motherly affection on me. Soon I get saturated, and start crossing lines like any other arse-hole! At that time my brain reduces to the size of that of a mosquito, only to drink her blood, but she gave it willingly as well… which is precisely why I’m feeling all the more guilty now!

I always forget my place n screw things up big-time, especially with my totally perverted grey matter.   But after all that good that has happened to me in the past two-three weeks, It seems I’ll hit the block soon. God, I’ve never asked you anything in this world till now… If you are up there,  can you just do something to help this buddy of yours out, please? Something like, tadah! and every-thing’s okay… something like that? ‘coz if things go the way that I fear it will be, then soon I’ll fall. This time, into oblivion, to somewhere where no-one can ever again get me back from. Athu sambhavichaal pinne vverum bore aayirikkum. And All her work will go waste, and that’s the last thing I’ll want now.

Knightfall

It is to be understood that this is not meant to be read. It’s just my feeling, and me as a whole, just trying to move on. I have no one else in this world as close as this for its patience to hear everything I have to say. vending my feelings and sharing it with my close friend, my blog, is just because I can find sleep in atleast some of the sleepless nights.

***

My life changed a lot in the past 12 months. I just don’t know what happened, but then I don’t think the transistion went well. Now I’m stuck in this penumbra of nothingness, trying to attain the halcyon condition I had been 365.25 days ago.

Apart from the 50-something pals at school, who I miss a lot, I had some friends who were kinda close, as it was safe for me to point them out as my ‘very good friends’. But then I was too dumb then, acted on impulse rather than intuition. And I routed this blog to a whole new level. I was writing fiction from the very beginning, from 2006 onwards. But that were posts everyone related too, and so was thought to be real. Then like every average teenager, girls came and went, and one such stuck with me, as my dear friend.

That time I was writing about a girl I used to admire in Maths classes. It was pretty obvious to everyone that I was writing my mind off, rather than constructing fiction, a way to attain attention, as sex, girls, love, and words like fuck, shit, cunt all make people hold on to the posts for a little long.

That time it was all about the hits, the no. I was getting per day on this page. I closely related my life to this blg, and slowly without realising the gravity of it, lost myself to it. But I never mentioned anyone’s name in the blog, and it was written as a first person narrative.

I was never a ladies man. Neither is now. I just had 1 friend, and thats it. But just because I wrote all that up, many people, everyone who had the slightest of intentions to play with me, got into the driving seat, to point out who I was writing about, It was their one and only guess, as there weren’t much options on that. A dude with a friend, who is loathed about by others, then that dude writes something up in a blog about a girl, then you knows where it all points out.

People say shit most of the time. I’ve grown up hearing shit from everywhere except in my family. An inferiority complex built up carefully and slowly by the years, but was wearing off with her help. Even if she didn’t talk much, her brief company was ebough for me to feel that I was someone. But then little did I know the blog was to be read by every single motherfuckin sons of bitches! I thought it would just exist something as unimportant as my life till then.

Surrounded by gossips from a very young age, I started to ignore them, and just nod to every thing directed at me. That usually worked, as it soon died out. But this one only got worse, and honestly, I didn’t see it coming. If I knew the outcome then I wouldn’t have been writing in this page since last year.

I always blamed myself for all this, my plethoric ego playing over me. And after a year, it never died out. I still can’t get over myself. This is one permanent dent in my life, and on my self esteem, which is close to nil now.

I used to love me, loath myself… but now at times, I feel disgust for my being. Yeah, Its easy for everyone to say “Get over it, move on”, et cætera, et cætera, but then loss is just too much It was a big price I had to pay.

Honour is something I lost in front of her. The only thing I ever had as mine. Honour. Now I don’t. Now whatever I did after that is another story. Losing a friend just like that, is more painful that angering. I cried, yes, I did, alot. But then How could I ever express that outside, so I vent it all out through Anger, somethingthat was like a beast in me. My bane, my temper, it released like hell, rained on my blogposts, making matters only worse. And I always wished for a panacea for everything. But then I broke the threshold, her trust, and her friendship, and my honour.

Now everything I do is taken either as my inability to move on, or my move to attract attention and get famous, or just my fucking attitude problem. But then, has anyone ever cared to find out how I have felt. I am also a human being in full, with feelings and insecurities. I was never the better one. I always tried. I still try. But then she hates me. I may have changed her status by all this, but she was in the good light, is still now, and is still loved by all in the same way she was then. But then I cannot heal her wound, and every new thing is taken as another cut infected by me on that same wound. And I have lost my right to ask for forgiveness.

Yes, it’s been a year. I lost my self, my ability to form new friendships, my will over my body(lost about 10 kilos, and gained nothing), and my piece of mind. A feeling of how I suck more today builds up every new morning. I have lost it. That very blow to my friendship cost me the whole world, my whole world…

Sorry.

Sorry.

I’ve been understanding the language of the world lately, and thus, I believe I have started to listen to my heart, and to believe in the omens the One has to give me.

And so, My heart tells me to ask for forgiveness. I know its too late. But then you know the saying…

So

…for everything…, Just please forgive this soul. I have learnt it the hard way. But then I’m happy now that I’ve learned to understand, or better, to begin to understand the Language of the World.

…

…okay… now I feel better… I think…

Change.

This year is the year of change. Yep, and it’s already started, that too, with the greatest advocate of change, President Barack Obama. I hope the Americans’ll get something good for their country under him. And from all that media, with so many artists supporting him, it’s presumed that it will also strongly affect the media industry, of which the initial stage has already started. I respect that great man for whatever he is to bring to this world. Since, he doesn’t need any advice on anything, I’m pretty sure America will come up “culturally” after all.

Enough US talk already. Now lets talk about India, where there’s a state called Kerala, and a city called Trivandrum. Here’s where I stand, and my life revolves around this small fast growing city. Well, for the past 5 months, It has started to extend to a small town about 160 km north of Trivandrum, called Kottayam, but my mind, my loyalties, and everything I hold dear are still here.
Hmm… so that’s about it. So what was special about this week…aah! yeah.
So, yet another Valentine’s day passes, my eighteenth one to be precise. And yeah, you guessed it right… I’m still Single. In my life, with things like Shell, Unix and its successors, Need for Speed, GTA, Counter Strike, There’s hardly any time I can devote any part of my mind to “impressing” the girl. To me, as I’ve learned, it’s the sure waste of precious time, with dangerous side-effects, the major ones being losing a good friend, and a final product…a girl with too much ego n attitude, that almost tops the Eiffel tower.

There are times in life when at a point, just due to a negligible span of time when an immature thought builds up, that’s when everything goes wrong. And so it has.
Having a good friend for two long years, and then suddenly just like that, she turns to see me as someone who used her, that’s punishment. It’s been almost a year since that punishment started, but to be optimistic, I really thought that would go. But then yesterday, on Valentine’s, My fears just got realized, yet again. If total ignorance wasn’t enough, the frequent stares killed me…almost.

To be honest, I hope I could rewind time just to stop myself from doing what I’ve done. It’s not losing a girl, that pains. It’s losing a good honest friend. She was a Friend first, and something else only later… and I regret the ‘something else’ part, very much. Still I hope it all changes one fine day, still expecting one more call.

I’ve started to believe in the secret of  life. When you want something seriously and from your heart, the whole world conspires to help you achieve it. Hope I get my friend back.

Of Insects and Strangers…

Yesterday was one of the most influential days of my life. Things chanced in such a way that it even forced me to change my perspective on a lot of things.

To begin with, I started the day with a feeling of “Ugh! Why the fuck do I always get up at 5 and do nothing about it!” The lavatory was quiet as usual, this time without any reading material I could muse upon. So, after a quick bath, which included myself swearing at the shower for no good reason I could think of, I jumped into something more civilized which included a boxer trunks at last. And so there I was, in a shabby yet wet situation, in a trunks and a stupid tee which needed some urgent makeover.

 

Breakfast was tasty, relatively. After whatever shit I gulp down at the hostel, mom’s recipes were the greatest. Grabbing a remote, which apparently send IR radiation to the Television set, I sat in front and listened to all the shit they showed on MTV and VH1 early morning. Life seemed so useless then. It’s when I gulped down liters of tea that I thought about what I planned for today.

Planning is always my expertise. Only thing is, I plan something, and do something else. My ingenious plan included me going to catch Quantum of Solace, then coming back to finish my Workshop record. But soon the Censor Board of India forced me to cancel the Bond movie. One of the reasons why piracy of Films spreads like hell these days. Now, The only option left for me is to get the ‘uncut’ DVD. So sad.

The whole morning was not spent on Workshop Record. Actually, That record never even saw the outside world. I went out to change the covers of my pathetic Cellphone. And in due course, I made it sure I recharged it for eternity(read: 7 days). All that took me some 3 hours.

The next thing in my priority list was to meet a friend 70 km away from home. So I took to it. The journey was by dear KSRTC fast Passenger buses, that took hours and hours to reach places. I made a pit-stop in the middle, at my Aunt’s place. It’s the cellphone that played an important part in the journey. Just when I got into the bus from my place, I got a miss call from a friend. I thought it was kinda urgent, so I called back. To my surprise, I heard another voice from the other end. It was the stranger. She was like..”I am THE  Stranger, so wazzup, what do you want from me?” I immediately disconnected. Then I phoned her back. What followed where a series of Diwali crackers. I felt I was in the middle of China on their New Year’s Eve. Even in all that, THE Stranger had a point. She wanted to be the Stranger, forever. Now my point was just that “Being Strangers is better than being People who want to send quotations to each other”. So in short, she called, We talked. Now we are perfect Strangers. I felt relieved, maybe she felt the same. My mind went blank after that. Only one quote came down the memory line…”For want of a nail… the shoe was lost…”

 

You know this God chap, he is a guy with character. Whatever he does, he delivers it accordingly and aptly. When a friend becomes a stranger just like that, a stranger becomes a friend. Now enter THE Friend. THE Friendnever saw me, ever, but we talked often, over analog signals. But then We both wanted to see each other. And so we decided to meet. 70 km away from home.

Our first meeting was kinda okay okay…I mean I felt good. Maybe THE Friend felt the same too. Nothing was irrational. The stage was set. People were blabbing shit. There was Sugarcane juice. And sweets. And chocolates. And music. And well…a lot of things (Didn’t I say we were in a Shopping mall?)

I am not elaborating on anything. But you know, my life has always been a Open book. But some things need to be kept brief. And so we parted, wishing each other Goodnight.

Now on to other things. The girls in my class think I am this total nerd who needs a chain. Poor ignorant things. And so yesterday someone called me, well…miss-called me. The thing the poor girl didnt know was that I had her no., and she thought she was playing me around. Pretty dyesp no? Anyways…yesterday was like this… I think this is a new beginning. Let’s wait and see.

 

Lessons To Life. Part #1

Well…you know how it is. You learn by mistakes, and sometimes you learn too much (or even less) that you also try to learn how it chanced and well… at times try to teach your neighbor some of those lessons. But then, there are lessons in Life that I cannot ignore after all that change it made in my life. So let’s approach those lessons both rationally and irrationally, like surds…And in my real small life segment, I’ve learnt lessons that are worth an encyclopedia. (Credits to the bright young, old and the dying who have interacted with me at some point of my life) So…lemme begin…

To begin with…hmm… I spent like almost half of my life in my school. To be one of a pack of some 50 gut-filled wolverines, and to survive in it for about 13 years, without nothing actually happening required balls, and much more. Being girl-less for a bigger part of my life may have changed my approach to a real crude one, but then it was freedom in one sense. You could release everything anywhere and everywhere. It was something every dude enjoyed at my school. It’s just real simple to understand. If you are chained for so long, you definitely won’t become accustomed to it. That’s the truth. You will always try to break free. And when you break free at the end of it, all that frustration, which caused it to happen, release in a split second, dynamically magnifying itself to a mammoth scale. And that is Bad. Real Bad. Somehow fate approached me in a totally different way…it put me in a school where I was granted total Anarchy, and so, at the end of it all, we(including the chaps in my class) had nothing to “release” and all, and we eventually grew up to respect freedom than to use it. But then when one reaches College, most people have a feeling that it is a gate to freedom, which is obviously bull-shit when I see it. The concept of freedom is so reduced that at times I feel like kicking myself down a cliff.

Let’s take Stan. He was a real good friend of mine. To begin with…he was one of the greatest geniuses (which includes the 50 super-human-samurais I introduced earlier) in the field of “whatever shit people discuss in first year college and just before and giggle and frown and smug and experiment and securitize and all.” The only things the geniuses missed were an approach to the other side of the horizon… to other spectrum of their own species on the planet. To be brief, these guys were (and still are) hard to crack, and they momentarily give you crowbars at their will, mainly for the common good of mankind. So after a lot of crowbar throwing, hitting, hammering, filing, and so on, these guys grew up to take all the shit of life, well…almost all the shit of life.

But then Stan, after all those lessons they threw at them, grew up to trust them. He was like them in all other aspects, but then it was the other sex that made it go all wrong. Enter Rita. Smart, intelligent, diligent, assiduous, sedulous, beautiful, and who seems to be a lil mature at times. I am not saying if she was tall or if she dances or if she has a temper the size of Eiffel tower or if she ever was at least a runner-up (or something) in some personality contest in her school, or if she used to chat through the net mostly on Saturdays, or if she always had that sparkle in her eye that made everyone feel like zombies in front of her. Okay… enough praise for some character who acquire shades of grey (and red) in the course of whatever I am typing down.

They say you should never ever spend a single paisa on a girl. The greatest loss for any guy is to invest on women. (I am not starting off an account…That would be rather, you know, err… yeah that.) So, trust me on that one, I have personally seen Stan go bankrupt with his savings. He’ll like save for months and months, and then spend on some stupid thing like cards or something. He doesn’t know how to show that he cares, but he tries, and so he tried. He used whatever talent he had; he used his aesthetic sense to hunt down stuff (mostly cards), or chocolates in some cases. But a rare feather-white handicraft card was one of the biggest blunders he committed. Stan always use to ask me “Isn’t that enough to show that I care?” What the fuck was he thinking? Girls don’t use their brain, that’s what you think? Guys think they are heart creatures. Big Mistake. They analyze every shit that comes their way, and they avoid everything thrown at them in a rather smart, if not appreciable way.

Guys, and girls, Martians and Venusians, the two at times almost make you feel like they are from different planets. Guys always tend to mistake friendship as love, and Girls, well, tend to take love as friendship. Sad no? Well…why the fuck am I blabbing shit like that? What love? All I wanted to say is about Intimacy. Isn’t there a concept called ‘intimate friendship’? Or did that die too in this age of shit-headiness? I have always wondered…an intimate friendship is pure and white…it’ll have challenges, but then when one approaches from a side, if the other person closes the system down, then there goes the ‘Chattiyum Kalavum’. Well, you may ask if intimate friends can be between girls and girls and guys and guys, but you see, Athallallo athinteyoru ithu? Yeythu? Yeah intimacy is a sort of love…the guy and the girl will eventually love each other. Don’t stress on the fucking word. It has a lot of meanings, and it varies from perspective to perspective. They will be more comfy with each other, they’ll love talking to each other, but then everything needs a start no? What if the guy and girl is some 200 km away from each other, there is always the marvel of communication technology to save the day, The mobile Phone!

One must understand the basics. No one wants to rape or bone or ‘marry’ the other. Even if that fantasy ever occurs, it’ll be discarded, which is guaranteed. Then why do they fear, and close down? Why? To find excuses or reasons for everything is easy, but is that enough for someone to cut down every little contact, and erase all the history they had as friends. I don’t know. I have much more to learn, and will be learning it shortly, but for the meantime, I think this shit is far more than enough. So I end it here. Let the almighty have mercy on the souls who wish to kill me after chewing on this yet another “mattey” post.

#*************************#

DISCLAIMER:I Seriously don’t give a fuck of what you think. I write and I write what I want to write. No shit is Real and Nothing mentioned above has anything to do with anything or anyone living or dead. If, by some permutations and combinations, such a thing occurs, It’s your problem in the first place to apply mathematics to english. The author is not responsible for any shit.

Verbose Worldliness!

Hmm…Ya Right! After acing that useless Learner’s Driving License Test, I kinda got the feeling I was, indeed, the King of the World. But a near death experience the same evening made it sure that I won’t feel the very same the days after. Anyways, I won’t get into that anymore, ’cause I know you are all least interested in hearing or reading anything even remotely related to me. So lets forget that incident. ’cause its totally irrelevant here, considering the timestamp difference of that and me writing this one down. So, Let’s just talk about more rational, rabid, yet meaningless stuff, no?

First, to College. We all know that College affects every(almost every) eighteen year old’s life in a big way. Hmm… so I managed to get my lazy ass into one of the best Engineering Colleges in the state of Kerala, that too in the Dept of Civil, which is *ahem ahem* one in the only three Civil Departments in our state flooded with all sorts of Colleges, to acquire a Five Year Accreditation from NBA. The first day was rather welcoming in the sense that there was this National Service Scheme people who wanted me(and all the others) in their whatever association thingy. I was wondering what it was all about, and a senior bhai was kind enough to tell me all about it, starting from How it operates to why its necessary. Hmm…so these guys were the volunteering group, hmm, and believe me, they , as described to me, clean the college campus almost every week. But then, honestly, I thought our guys did a better job on Lafest eve. But then we can’t blame them either. It’s a huge Campus, some 88 acres! That’s way too vast for any government college in Kerala. But I pretty like the environment. It’s neat, and not Dusty. Almost 70% of all that land is covered by greenery. And there are mountain roads leading to everywhere. It’s a perfect trekking spot in all respects, complete with compelling shortcuts and spooky ways. It’s far better than the city atmosphere in Trivandrum. The first thing I felt when I saw the college was that it had a lot of potential to being one of the very best. Somehow, all that potential has not been tapped, not even a slightest part of it. But then, this college is young, just 16 to 17 years since it began in a Govt. School, it has grown in an immense scale to become one of the best in the state. One should see with their own eyes to see and believe it. And you’ll know Why it is so.

So, classes didnt officially start as such till now, so it’s kinda a little too early to say anything much about the College. But this is all what that I picked from the campus from just a few hours in it. The Seniors seem supportive n friendly, and the Politics look a lot neat. Let’s just wait and watch…

You can call me a Lefty from most of my political views, but I am definetly not with them in the ‘development’ part. It’s just that some have picked up the wrong message over the years, and now it has formed to be a total anti-development propoganda. The guys who made it all up in the first days of such a thing, never ever expected it to become such a thing. I wonder when it’s all going to change. Russia is developed, China is far more advanced, come on, you can see it all by yourselves no? I don’t know why all this is just happening here only. It’s a totally pessimistc approach to each and everything. The positives are never appreciated, totally ignored, not even noticed! It’s sad, plain sad!

Image Courtesy : travel.nytimes.com

Come on, lets face the facts. ‘Mixed Economy’ was supposed to imbibe the GOOD points of the other two extremes, not the BAD ones. Just look around us, Do you happen to see anything GOOD..yeah no na?, now try looking for cons, you’ll have three-four truck-loads of ‘em! See, Two of my points, One is the Pessimistic POV n the Reality that it underlines, both are proved!

Okay, so let’s be reasonable, realistic and rational here. We all claim and shout it out loud “Mera Bharat Mahan!”. I disagree. Our Nation’s not ‘that’ great. Lets face the facts and the crude “truth” of realism here. But our Nation can be Great. It has to be Great. It Will be Great. WE have to make it Great. And WE CAN.

Image Courtesy: rrindia.com

When we find ourselves losing out on something, we blame the system, or start bragging about rich culture and tradition. Come on, I admit we have a Rich heritage, but why the Boast? Do you really think other civilizations, I mean, other nations don’t have their heritage, culture, stuff n all that, seriously? Thats Sad, you know. Come on, how long are we gonna hide behind all this culture and tradition curtain. One day, eventually we all have to make it big, our nation has to make it big. And we are the ones who are to be Responsible. To our present condition, we can’t justify ourselves by blaming everything on the “general” public, the system, or the government for that matter. If we have to blame, then it is ourselves. You, Me, Us, each and every one among us. Only we can make the change. We can, if we want. We can, if we choose to. We can, if we are to. But then its “IF WE”…So now, You choose.