“Aloha everyone! my love is dead!
I’m happy, You still look exactly the same.
But dear, You were never for me to tame!
Fallen to my Blue Screen of Death she was…
Never did she realize the love I had.
So Die Die Die!! Hastalavista, baby.“
So this article is in memory of my (once upon a time)favourite girls, my ex-girlfriends. Let me be honest with you people on this one. You can’t actually call them ex-girlfriends. I’ll tell you the reasons too. The whole point of me writing this down is of 2 to 3 to several reasons:
- None of them ever told me they love me.
- All of em (almost all) have told they hate me.
- One even threatened she would sent a quotation team to sketch me.
- I have a habit of forgetting unimportant people in my life.
- I would have recalled them, but they are too unimportant.
- I have turned psycho, got a negative number of hugs n kisses.
- And above all that, I am living my goddamn 19th year of my existence, and am still a fuckin virgin!
So, before I forget them, let me type it down. Fancy me! I’ve already forgotten their names!
OK, lets start. So, there was me in the beginning, then 3 girls came into my life. Okay, I admit. Even though I’m pretty sure its three, I can only remember two of them. That too barely!
Lets start with the second girl. I was 16. We were at the same tuitions. I was in the 10th grade. She was one of girls my sweet Rakhi sis used to hang out with. And I fancied her. Kinda. Well, after seeing her wear shades of Orange almost every day, we used to call her..ahem…Orangie!! I know its a stupid name, but who gives a fuck? Oh damn, I forgot a lot of detail, but then, enter her big bro, mafia style big bro, one day I got enough courage to ring her up, but to my dismay, and fear, that guy picked up the phone. Yeah, I gulped a lotta stuff that day, and had to assume the role of a bakery salesman who had actually phoned the wrong house. Then there were two of my best friends after her. So Line CUT CUT. End of Story.
Then enter the seductive dance queen. The Anushka Sharma of my life. But truly immature. The reason she broke up with me(Acc. to her, we were never joined actually…teehee!): Well, because the same filmy dialogue “I’ve never seen you in such a way, you are like a good friend, but not a…” played itself before me too. But I had high hopes. Still she needed a reason to keep me outta bay. She found that successfully in a character of my earlier blogs, and blamed that it was her. That was kinda sad, you see. I made that character up even before I met her, and way before we became kinda friends. And so we argued, she went hyper, started swearing at me one fine day, and so I closed the deal by displaying 20% of my vocabulary on her messenger screen. Last I heard of her was when she finally rang me one one fine day to ..ahem.. threaten me. “We aint related anymore, we never were! and I don’t want to see or hear my name anywhere on the net, understand? Okay” So…End of Story! Bye Bye.
Now lets reason it all out, lay it down on bed. And just point out what I gained n lost, in the whole melodramatic panoply of events…
- I lost my respect for the feminine kind. The only woman I respect now is my Mom.
- I screwed up my 10th board exams with a shitty 82%.
- Even though I managed to score a 90% in 12th boards, I screwed up all my engineering entrances, big time!
- I lost my blog popularity, since I thought stopping the writing would better the situations. That never happened.
- And so I am now in a college which never even featured in my nightmares.
- Due to the first point, I now have a bad-ass image all over college.
- It took me kinda like 6 months or so, from May last year, for me to recover from all this bullshit.
- I have learned to live for myself. I don’t smoke, nor drink. I just want to live now, just for myself, not for any shitty girl, just for me.
- I have learned not to trust anyone, especially Cunt-carriers!
- Now since I’m back, mastered all the courage, and not directly addressing any bitch by name, and as I have published this, I don’t care about the consequences. To think of it, What fuck more could happen?
- I got a lotta new pals.
- I love my unimportant self right now, since I don’t have to give a fuck about anyone!
So to end it. I just have to say a few things.
I am back. This time I am really really bad. I will reincarnate this site and restore this earlier glory, and make it way better. But I promise all the identities will be safe, and I would just start writing stories with some characters and my imagination-built incidents, and it would not have any resemblence to anything, or anyone living or dead. Even after all these idiotic disclaimers, if anyone comes in my way, Its a sure bet that not only will they find themselves revealing their true selves in the very next post, they will also find whatever they did(or whatever they plan on doing) being published in any place in this Web 2.0.
Hope that would be enough for ya idiotic minds. For sensible arseholes, here’s another one. I am extremely Not sorry for whatva part of this blog that offends you. Since I have stopped publisizing this page, you have a fucking choice. i.e. If you think its sickening you, Why the fuck do you bother to read this “retarding” shit!? There’s always the address bar or the ‘Close tab’ button. So Fucktardy!
So, I just hope this new year, a nice one, with fewer foolish fucktards to add a psychopath like me to their ‘People to splatter before I die’ list. And more important people to add to my list. All depends on the success of this blog. Cooperate and reap the returns!