Yeah! My life’s totally fucked up right now. I don’t know what I’m doing right now. Just typing off shit like no tomorrow.
So sex deprived, and so confused, searching for that purpose in life, but I still can’t get my godmn fucking ass to settle somewhere and start studying. Holy Fuckeroonie!! I cut my class today. Felt like bunking, so I took a train back home. This is too shitty!. I feel like I’ll explode in this shithole! Fuck me! Spank my ass!
Ohkay…may be I’m a little over, or maybe its the drugs that was meant for the viral fever that’s kicking in….but I don’t feel like doing any fuck with my life anymore. I don’t drink, nor smoke, but still feel as miserable as fucking smoking drunkard…with no purpose, nothing satisfying nor completing my inner self. All I now have is a feeling of extreme loneliness…Yeah! I am fucking 19…still girl-deprived…Fuck me!
This fuckin insecurity is eating me. Oh! fuck! Why is this so much pain. I don’t know who I am, why I am, what I am! Damn it! it’s the fault of the chinhuahua!!
Somebody help me! I need a freaking counselor. Or else I’ll kick your sorry ass into the deep hollows of the oblivion. Oblige with all the rules I put before you before I come and give you that sorry night you wished that never came. I am not in control of myself right now! As it is already obvious to you. The lack of purpose has led me to such a fuckin state where everything feels so shitty that I can’t even satisfy myself by fucking myself!
Look at me! Look how far I have gone down. Sunk into nothingness! Who is to blame? tell me…WHO IS TO?
Life was way less complicated in school. I never wanted any of this. There’s records to be completed. Notes to be finished, lots n lots of stuff left to study, and when I wake up every morning, I feel there’s no purpose? Who is in the gaining circle? I don’t want to dance myself to fame anymore. I hate attention right now! Fuck!
All I do right now is just to make sure I survive to see a tomorrow. But taking that into consideration, I ask myself, is it worth it?