Ah. There was a time when living my life the way I want was the least of my concerns. Maybe I was happy then. Or happier. Then I lost my virginity to Life.
That time I thought it was for the best, and so never tried to react to it the way I usually do. But then one day, everything fell apart simultaneously. Thats the day I exploded, literally. But then what is gone, is gone. And now as I stand one year since that, I look back to see how retarded the whole thing was.
Most of the damage was done via posts on this page, so I can’t get to blame anyone else other than me, for all that shit. Then there were readers who flocked in for a scoop, who finally got disgusted at the whole issue. Then college, which was shittier than ever, fucked up torture, politics, fight, In class brawls,… yeah, it was filled with retarded shit… All I want to do now is close the chapter, and to which not-blogging is not an option. But my recent behavioral patterns taken into account, I can see some progress, from what which was one of the most mentally disturbing scenarios in my life.
Oh fuck! Who am I crapping?
The point is, I have no regrets, just because some people made that sure I don’t feel any. And I just feel I should thank em now. 🙂
And yeah, now I feel like caring for myself again, been looking after me, and spotting a less retarded face now. Maybe I feel happy now. Maybe someone else has given me the hope, yet again. And this time, it was strong enough to teleport me inter-polarily through my emotional status.Something good has been chancing with me of late, sporadically, and now my urge to live life has come back, if not temporarily.
Maybe this was the break I needed after all…